Career Transitions, Layoffs, and Finding Your Balance

By: Kelley Cantos, MA, AMFT #153873

Time to be blunt. Today’s work environment is kind of cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs (does anyone still use this reference?). One minute you’re thriving in your cozy home office with your favorite mug, sweatpants, and flexible schedule, and the next? Your company is shifting to hybrid, back to in-person, or worse; your Microsoft Teams suddenly goes quiet and the layoffs begin… Sound familiar?

Whether you’re watching your coworkers vanish into thin air, or you're the one packing your desk, it can leave you feeling off-balance, insecure, and asking, "What now?"

First things first: you are not your job. I know, I know. Easier said than done. Many of us spend years, sometimes decades, in a career that becomes part of our identity. Losing it can feel like losing a piece of ourselves. Here's a fact: your job is something you do, not who you are.

What If You're One of the Few Left Standing?

Layoff survivor's guilt is a real thing. Suddenly, your awesome flourishing team is dismantled down to a skeleton crew, and you might be wondering, "Why me?" or "Am I next?" It’s unsettling. Pause. Take a deep breath. Recognize that feeling anxious in a time of uncertainty is totally human. Now it is time to ground yourself (no, you’re not in trouble, this is the good type of grounding).

Grounding Exercise (5-4-3-2-1): Look around you. Name five things you can see. Four things you can touch. Three things you can hear. Two things you can smell. One thing you can taste (welcome back to the present).

What If You Got Let Go?

Grieve it. For real. It’s okay to feel sad, angry, confused, or even a little relieved (no shame, I sure did). Allow yourself to process what just happened. Remember that as you process, you may feel angry one day, happy the next, and then back to angry. You are unique and are not expected to process the loss the same way as your past coworker. When you're ready, take a look at what this new chapter might offer you.

I’ve experienced three layoffs. Yes, three, from jobs I held for years and poured so much of myself into. Let me tell you, they don’t get easier. Each time, it rattled my confidence and made me question my abilities. I wondered if I was doing something wrong, if I could have done something differently, or if I was just unlucky. Ultimately, it had nothing to do with me. Even so, each one of those challenges, while incredibly tough, led to better opportunities. The roadblocks, while painful, nudged me toward a more fulfilling path and pushed me to finally follow my longtime dream of becoming a therapist. That detour? It changed everything, but it definitely did not happen overnight. Neither did my new self-reflection and realizations. This is just part of my story, what is yours?

Catch the Thought, Check the Thought

If your mind starts looping with things like "I’m not good enough" or "Everyone else has it together except me," pause. Jot that thought down. Now, let's challenge it. Is that thought a fact, or just a fear? Try replacing it with something more balanced: "This is a tough season, but I’m doing the best I can."

Focus on What You Can Control

You can’t control company decisions or job markets, but you can control how you show up. Polish your resume. Reach out to old connections. Get on LinkedIn. Write down your strengths (yes, there are plenty). Repeat them out loud even if it feels awkward or cheesy. It’s not about toxic positivity, it’s about reminding yourself of your value. 

What Do You Love Outside of Work?

This is so key. Do you love surfing? Hiking? Spending time with family? Painting? True Crime Podcasts? Bingeing reality television while folding laundry? (Just me?) Whatever it is, now is the time to reconnect with those things. Your job doesn't get to hold all the joy. Start sprinkling in moments that make YOU feel alive, even if they're small.

Setting Non-Career Goals

It’s easy to slip into the go-to-work-come-home-repeat loop. Let’s break it. What’s something you've wanted to try or return to? Go back to school? A new hobby? A fitness routine? Journaling for 10 minutes a day? Setting goals outside of your career helps create a more balanced sense of self.

Final Thoughts (And a Pep Talk)

Career transitions can be a bumpy road. Whether you're choosing change or it was chosen for you, it's okay to feel disoriented like you just came off the tea cup ride at Disneyland. This is also a powerful time to reevaluate. What do you want in your next chapter? What matters most to you now? What are your key values?

Remember: the job didn’t make you valuable, you brought value to the job.

Take that deep breath in through your nose and exhale out your mouth. Be kind to yourself. Trust that something new will come. In the meantime, don’t forget to live the life that exists outside your inbox.

You’ve got this!